bleachfanfictionfandomcom-20200223-history
Talk:Sasuke Sarutobi
Review This character could easily be considered a prime example of the many errors found in the fanfiction and true fiction world, mostly related with aspects of the writing that only appear to be acceptable. Introductory Section Although the creative aspects of a character or any other article on a wikia such as this are parameters that cannot fairly be judged, there is a point at which originality will affect a character's writing and literary effectiveness. Unless the author is comfortable with how the character is written, it is suggested the article is reviewed and revised in order to change the 'feel' of the the character. Grammatically, the introductory section is appropriate, save for some preferential matters with sentence flow(chopy sentences, unnecessary or misplaced commas) and typing errors. However, there are points at which the wording and literal writing slip out of the standard of quality that is expected of an author: "...and was fairly well known throughout the Soul Society for his compassion and empathy." "Due to his empathy and ability to emotionally connect with people, he was very popular among the residents of Soul Society. His empathy for others was so great that it even made him stand out during his time with the 4th squad." Repetition is a useful tool to emphasize certain traits in a character, but redundancy is generally accepted in the writing community to be unwanted. It is suggested that the author revise the introductory section to eliminate this redundancy. Appearance The Appearance section, no matter who writes it, is by far the most grammatically challengeing few paragraphs in any character article. The appearance section in this article is, again, of a decent standard of writing, but it also contains some literary faux-pas. Redundancy is a problem once more, and it is also very important to avoid overuse, confusion, or congestion of descriptors in the Appearance section. As these are often the driving words in the section, this is a crucial aspect to look into. On a more detailed note, there is also the question of doubtful writing: "Sasuke is tall, slender and fairly muscular with white hair. He eyes are bright gold color." Ignoring the typo in the above quotation, when writing an article, it is important to have confident wording and to avoid descriptors that only go half-way. This is a tactic often used by writers in the fanfiction and fanon world to disguise over-exemplary traits in a character. It is advised that the author revise th article to eliminate this. Personality The Author is reminded to revise the article for points pertaining to originality. PipeCleaner345 Thanks Thanks for letting me know of your opinions mate. Will read the article again later and try to notice the things you pointed out. But you have to realize this is my first article here and its not yet complete. I'll do a complete rereading after its complete and will remove any typos and grammatical errors. On the point of using repetition and redundancy i agree there there is a very fine line between the two and different people might have different distinctions between the two. But i will look into that as well. The line you pointed out from the appearance is yet another result of this being a work in progress. I just listed out his physical attributes there and wasn't really writing a complete description. I am still trying to imagine a few more things about how he looks in the human world and so on. The sentence would probably end up like this, "Sasuke is a tall, slender and fairly muscular man with white hair and bright golden eyes." That also seems a little too long and i might change it again. Thanks again for your views. Mute Mouth (Mute Mouth Talk| ) 18:58, July 5, 2010 (UTC)Mutemouth shikai ability that ability is too powerful and is ripping off canon abilities, please remove and revamp--''不滅王 くらやみ - "Immortal King of Darkness"'' (吐露 - "Speak Your Mind"| ) 16:08, July 9, 2010 (UTC) and i don't know if its true or not and i m not trying to accuse u of anything but ur zanpakuto's abilities and weaknesses resemble's my Sogetsu a lot, method of absorbtion and the time limit for the abilities re use and even the moon like name, though the emphatic ability itself is not unique to only once person i would like it if u changed some aspect of ur zanpakuto's like how it uses it abilties and how it absorbs its abilities, and also dont use abilities from pre-existing main canon try to make ur own, that is all, and to be honest i liked ur previous shirohime much better.........--Shadow Rage 16:18, July 9, 2010 (UTC)